Dating Bingo and Other Ways to Pass the Time

October 26th


With less than week to go I am spending increasing amount of time daydreaming about Thailand and in particular snorkeling. Am pulled from particularity beautiful underwater scene, complete with waving fronds of seaweed by HTB banging on bathroom door and asking if I plan to ever leave the bath and go to work. Am horrified to discover that I can still see waving fronds of seaweed with eyes open and come to conclusion that swift trip to beauty salon for leg wax is in order before holiday.

Get on train and am confused by availability of seats, immediately come to conclusion that I am on wrong train (possibly slow hole in hedge service) but as we are facing towards London and I am leaving work in a week anyway I decide to enjoy novelty of seat and see where it takes me. Several other commuters get on train, look round in puzzled manner and ask if this is the fast train before sitting down uncertainly. Mystery of empty train remains unsolved, even more mysterious is number of commuters who choose to stand despite empty seats as if seats are somehow imaginary or trap for unwary commuter who will then be required to sell soul to remain seated.

Tube also quiet, am now convinced that I was the only person who didn't hear the nuclear warning.

Discussion in office as to ways in which Alice can liven up date for evening. My suggestion is Date Bingo, a variation of buzzword bingo where the datee is required to bring a number of sentences into the conversation without cracking up and giving the game away. Points are awarded for each sentence and the other half of the date not leaving.

My contributions are

"Prize winning giant marrows"

"What I want more than anything is word peace"

Rachel contributes

"My rash" and the instruction that at some point any sentence be accompanied by a stabbing motion a la Psycho and HTB sends his contribution "I really love dry cleaning" by text.

Sadly (for our amusement levels) Alice decides that any date that needs livening up that badly is not worth going on and LoverDan (shabba) is dropped unceremoniously into the "friends zone", but the game remains an option for the future although possibly not on speed-dating evening next week. Speed-dating would require entire rewrite of sentences, possibly to include, "You have beautiful eyes, are they a genetic trait?" and "what do you think of Jocasta for a girl?"

My own plans for evening include ballet at Sadler's Wells in honour of which I am wearing cunning Roland Mouret style dress, also from Tescos and also purchased by HTB, who foolishly mentioned he was getting a Top Gear and did I want anything without specifying that he meant a magazine. A mistake he is unlikely to repeat soon, more's the pity.