An Apple A Day

Apropos of nothing HTB remarks to me this morning that I must lead a very rich inner life. Take it as complement and thank him, but on reflection imagine he means that I spend a disproportionate amount of time fantasising about complete rubbish. Would like to dispute this, but after mentally conducting fellow commuters in all singing all dancing rendition of "Oh what a beautiful morning" complete with choreographed leaps over benches and swings round sign posts on Waterloo platform this morning, have to agree he has a point.

Little to report on tube, walk past American women on London Bridge dressed in white trousers and pink polo shirt, looking confused. (As well she might as she is dressed for Florida in June and has found herself in London in October).

Work quiet. Lose will to live somewhere around 3pm.


17th October

Spend morning at Doctors who reveals dizziness to be caused by inner ear infection and not natural state (ha!) and prescribes pills. Cautions me not to climb ladders or operate heavy machinery and I assure her I will do neither. Interrupted by small boy, previously unnoticed colouring in corner who announces Uh Oh He has tipped the water over. Doctor looks harassed and introduces small boy as son Jack, off school with unnamed illness. Jack then proceeds to bounce around the room pointing at things while yelling wooo is this an x-ray machine? and generally displaying levels of energy and health that are the envy of all in the room. After some confusion, Jack is herded to corner of the room and supplied with fresh paper and discussion returns to my health and the subject of the other thing. According to my blood tests The Other Thing is apparently possibly something-something syndrome and the Dr is referring me to a specialist and it will take a long time. Feel vaguely disconcerted that I may have a syndrome as it sounds a) neurotic and b) made up. Can't help but think this is very shallow and snobbish of me and does not reflect well on my character so do not share thoughts with Doctor, instead professing gratitude for referral and thought that we may at last be putting a name to It. Admire totally hideous drawing done by Jack in hi-lighter pen, rescue prescription from pile of paper he is about to start drawing on and depart.

Another quiet day in the office allows us free reign in putting the world to rights. Deal swiftly with immigration, adoption of babies by pop-stars and Peter Andre's latest duet with his wife. http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,20590041-5006002,00.html

Play latter loudly and laugh until we weep.

Discussion in office turns naturally to would it be better if we were all lesbians? Decide that it would be as long as we didn't actually have to sleep with women and conclude therefore that we are really expressing a desire to be understood better by our men folk. This desire far easier to express to girlfriends in office and leads to far better discussion than sharing it with men folk, so subject remains un-raised with HTB. Can't imagine any conversation starting with Why can't you be more like a lesbian? ending at all well and have secret belief based on some experience that lesbians don't understand each other all that well anyway.

Member of boat crew comes in to borrow heater to dry his socks, this proves to be the excitement of the afternoon.

Alice is still single and is considering speed dating with her sister (obviously in the company of her sister, not With Her, although on reflection this might help her pick up men)

Afternoon enlivened by client who rings to express hope that I can make all her dreams come true by hiring our smallest boat to her at a discount price and asks about our hire rates. When I ask her if her party is taking place Monday to Thursday or Friday to Sunday she says that she only wants the boat for one day. The conversation goes down hill from here and I have to put her on hold twice so I can stop laughing. Leave client to sleep on decision after offering magnificent discount.

Head home with intention of wild night painting bathroom prior to arrival of guest at weekend and date with CSI Miami.




Cimments: brilliant! ever so funny!! laughed like a drain :-D still can't quite believe the Peter Andre and Jordan thing - its so awful that Chris Moyles will probably make it number one or something...any takers on a small wager?.......

Posted by Ruud on Tuesday, October 17, 2006 - 5:29 PM