People we need your help! Alice (she of the mermaid tail) is in search of a man. Like Old Ma Hubbard she has gone to the cupboard and the cupboard is bare. We suggested looking in the closet as an alternative but there were concerns that it might be like cleaning your teeth with a coconut doormat!
So we are now opening the search to the world and inviting applications.
No smoking, no drugs, no chavs, no David Hasselhoff look-alikes, no one that smells like cabbage or drinks anything that smells like cabbage, normal manners, must like animals and travel. No marrried men, no bunny boilers, no one who expects sex on a first date. Tall (you must be 5 ft 11 or over to go on this ride) reasonably fit (Alice can run). Probably best if you aren't a wine snob for reasons that will become clear the first time you buy her a glass of red wine.
If you think you can cope with these, quite frankly, normal requirments please apply directly to Alice at www.myspace.com/aliceloveswonderland and make sure you supply a photo (of course your looks matter, she gorgeous not perfect!)
4 Comments
Andy
That is brilliant...Im sure, after that write up she's going to be off the proverbial shelf before you can say Peekabook Bangs...
Posted by Andy on Friday, September 15, 2006 - 1:03 PM
Al
Yes very amusing! But very accurate!well done you. Just to you know, I will accept applications from anyone who is from 5ft 8upwards, so dont worry if your a few inches out!! (I am only joking by the way!I'm not that shallow!)
Posted by Al on Friday, September 15, 2006 - 1:03 PM
Yes very amusing! But very accurate!well done you. Just to you know, I will accept applications from anyone who is from 5ft 8upwards, so dont worry if your a few inches out!! (I am only joking by the way!I'm not that shallow!)
Posted by Al on Friday, September 15, 2006 - 1:03 PM
Peekaboo Bangs
You see boys - no need to worry about those extra few inches with Alice (who claims to have approved of this post but has dropped a glass of wine on me this morning! It's hard to look glamourous when you look like you have pee'd yourself and smell like a wino - but who I am kidding - I came to work in a kagool this morning - maybe this just isn't one of my glam days!)
Posted by Peekaboo Bangs on Friday, September 15, 2006 - 1:11 PM
You see boys - no need to worry about those extra few inches with Alice (who claims to have approved of this post but has dropped a glass of wine on me this morning! It's hard to look glamourous when you look like you have pee'd yourself and smell like a wino - but who I am kidding - I came to work in a kagool this morning - maybe this just isn't one of my glam days!)
Posted by Peekaboo Bangs on Friday, September 15, 2006 - 1:11 PM
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